20+ Years of Anxiety… and What Finally Helped Me Feel, Not Just Like Me Again– an Even Better Version of Me
For over half my life, I’ve lived with extreme anxiety. The kind that doesn’t just make you worry—it hijacks your day, your sleep, your relationships, and your peace. In my early 20s, I had panic attacks so intense I would nearly pass out. I eventually started seeing a psychiatrist, going to therapy, and that’s when I had a big realization:
I had lived through a traumatic childhood. And while I had brushed it off for years, my body and mind were carrying all of it. That trauma had manifested as anxiety, depression, PTSD, and OCD.
Since then, it’s been a journey—on and off meds, in and out of therapy, some seasons better than others. My anxiety especially flared up during and after both of my pregnancies and having my youngest during Covid just amplified everything.
But here’s the thing…
I’ve never wanted these challenges to define me. I want to break the cycle. I want to be the best mom I can be to my boys. And most of all—I want to show up for my life fully.
Now, over 20 years after being diagnosed, I can honestly say: I feel better than I’ve felt in decades. That constant, fluttery anxiety in my chest? It’s no longer a daily part of my life.
Yes—medications helped me and, as a nurse, I still believe in them wholeheartedly. But I’ve also found other tools that have helped me decrease my dependency and truly manage my mental health in a way that feels empowering.
I was previously on 150mg of Zoloft daily with Hydroxyzine and Propranolol for acute anxiety as needed. Currently, I’m down to 50mg of Zoloft daily and have not used the other two in MONTHS.
I’m going to share what I do now to manage my anxiety—from daily habits and supplements to mindset shifts and practical tools that work with my busy life (and not against it).
If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or like you’re just surviving—know that you’re not alone, and you can feel better. Below are 5 things I’ve done in the last 3 months to improve my mental health. And in the last 3 months I have DECREASED my chemical dependency on meds. I went from 150mg of Zoloft daily down to 50mg daily. I have not taken my other anxiety meds in over 3 months. And I feel BETTER that I have felt since my diagnosis over 20 years ago!
If you’re interested in more of my strategies for managing my mental health, follow me on Instagram – @scrubs_and_motherhood
For more information on the supplements I use, check them out here:
Listen—I’m not here to sell you something just to make a buck. I don’t need to. I love my nursing career. But what I can’t do is gatekeep something that has truly improved my life. Just try a sample like I did. See for yourself.
Anxiety, Depression, Exhaustion, No Energy, Constant Fatigue, Irritability, Stubborn Weight, Puffy Face, “The Mom Pooch,” Sleep Difficulty
Yall, I thought that stuff was just part of being a 40 something mom, especially working as a nurse with crazy hours. Then a family member suggested these all natural supplements. I was SO skeptical. But I trusted this family member, so I tried it and OMG. It has been life-changing. I thought what I was feeling was “normal” but it turns out it absolutely was not normal, it was actually imbalanced cortisol levels. These products helped balance that out. I feel like a new me, better me, and I’ve never felt happier and healthier. Here is my testimony that I like to share with others:
From Exhausted to Energized
I’m a 41-year-old RN and mom of two boys, and for the longest time, I thought being tired, stressed, and overwhelmed was just part of life. Between 12-hour shifts, keeping up with the kids’ schedules, managing the house, and trying to find time for myself—I felt drained.
I could take a 5-hour nap at any moment (if I had the time!), and even the thought of cooking dinner made me want to give up and order pizza… again. The exhaustion wasn’t just physical—it made me anxious, short-tempered, and honestly, too tired to truly enjoy life with my kids.
Then, I found something I never expected—a product that feels like it was made for people like me. It has completely changed how I function.
I’ve always been skeptical of people trying to sell me something (I tune out immediately!), but when a trusted family member (also a nurse & mom of 3) told me about it, I decided to at least look into it. I researched, hesitated, then finally gave it a shot.
DAY ONE. I felt a difference. ✅ More energy (without the crash) ✅ Less stress & anxiety ✅ Better focus at work ✅ More patience & motivation at home ✅ Laundry actually gets washed, dried, AND folded in the same day! (WHAT?!) ✅ No more afternoon energy drinks or seasonal depression creeping in
I drink Xcellerate Coffee in the morning (sometimes the Watermelon Berry drink in the afternoon), and it’s all I need. In my fast-paced ER job, I feel sharp, focused, and productive. At home, even my husband notices—I’m in a better mood, more organized, and just happier.
Listen—I’m not here to sell you something just to make a buck. I don’t need to. I love my nursing career. But what I can’t do is gatekeep something that has truly improved my life. So if you’ve been feeling the way I used to feel, just try a sample like I did. See for yourself.
Because honestly? Feeling this good shouldn’t be this rare. I am very passionate about helping others discover the best version of themselves, so if you’re interested, I would love to help!
Still skeptical but maybe a little intrigued? Try the Sample Pack. For most it lasts about 4-8 days, plenty of time to feel a difference! Order Sample Pack Here
You can also fill out my Health Questionnaire and I can help you find the products that match your goals! Take the Quiz Here!
If you have any questions, please reach out! I would love to help you feel your best!
Are you in FB groups that constantly have drama, you never post in them because you’re afraid of judgement, and if you REALLY think about it you get more negativity out of it than positivity? Remove yourself, or just snooze for 30 days and reevaluate.
Do you have a friend that is always a negative Nancy? Or maybe a friend that puts you down more than they lift you up? Reevaluate your friendships. Distance yourself from those that bring you down more than lift you up.
Are you addicted to true crime tv shows and podcasts? Yeah I was too. Take a break and replace with comedy tv shows/podcasts or positive mindset podcasts.
Find the positive
By nature, we tend to focus on the negative. The bottom line – you can’t change what has happened, but you can change how you let it affect you.
Make a conscious effort to take a negative thought and turn it into a positive. Start small. Ex: “I had a rough day at work, it was so busy, people were rude, etc” à “I’m lucky to have a good job, at least I get paid for today, I have job security in my profession. And the rude people don’t come home with me – I get to leave my work at work and come home to my family.”
Gratitude Journal
Start your day by thinking of just one thing you’re grateful for. It doesn’t have to be big. But training your brain to start the day focused on gratitude puts your mindset in a positive mode for the day.
End your day the same way – this is also a good time to reflect on some negative thoughts you may have had during the day and think of how to turn them into a positive.
Over time, your brain will be trained to focus on the positive
Be like Nike – Just Do It
Lacking motivation to get things done, then you feel lazy, then you feel down because your house is a mess, you felt unproductive, you feel bad about yourself, and it’s a snowball effect.
JUST START – getting started is the hardest part. Laundry to fold but you’re dreading it, feel like it wastes this precious small amount of time you have to yourself? Just get started – it usually ends up taking less time than you think. And once you get started, it gets easier to just get it done. Then you feel better about yourself and the mess!
Feeling sluggish, you know you need to get some exercise, but feeling lazy and don’t feel like getting ready? Just do it. In your pjs, who cares? Many times I’ve just thrown on a hoodie over my pjs and took a short walk. That small dose of vit D makes me feel more energized and is a huge mood boost! Now, if you sleep naked or in skimpy pjs maybe throw on a robe or something, don’t get arrested for streaking in your neighborhood. Does that still feel like too much work? Get down on your living room floor and do some stretching, sit-ups, 10-15 mins of physical activity – it will release endorphins that will improve your mood!
Move Your Body
Those last points kinda go along with this – make it a habit to move your body every day in some way. Even for just 15-20 mins. Go for a walk, walk the dog, ride a bicycle, do some yoga in your living room, play with your kids outside.
Moving your body is not only physically healthy, but boosts your mental health. It releases those feel-good hormones that improve your mood and put you in a better head space.
Bonus tip: listen to The Mindset Mentor podcast while going for a walk – he has some amazing episodes, short and sweet, that are really inspiring and mood-lifting!
This is something I have wanted to do for awhile and felt like I couldn’t find the time. I finally MADE the time. When you become a mother, sometimes you lose yourself in motherhood, buried in the diapers, exhaustion, laundry, busy schedules, you forget who you were before you became a mother. If you ask a mother what her hobbies are, she’s likely to stand there racking her brain to come up with an answer other than sleep, shower, hot food, pee alone.
Writing was a hobby of mine many years ago. I always said I wanted to write a book. When I was in my early 20s living in Texas, when I thought nursing was not an attainable degree at the time, I studied journalism at community college. I even worked on the school newspaper writing movie reviews. I really enjoyed it. I love to talk, I love to tell stories, but I’m much better at sitting down putting my words on paper (or in text/typing) than I am actually speaking.
So, I guess this blog is my way of getting back into writing. I have a lot of interesting stories from my past that I don’t mind sharing, especially if it might help someone. I also have plenty of funny stories thanks to my silly boys and never-boring-job in the ER. I love to help people, which is probably why I became a nurse. I love to share anything that could help others.
I hope you’ll find something helpful, interesting, and/or entertaining from my blog! 🙂
As Elle Woods once said, “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands.” {Legally Blonde}
Once you hit 40, it feels like your body suddenly starts falling apart – hot flashes, random aches and pains, fatigue, etc. The last thing you want to do is lace up your sneakers and hit the gym. But here’s the twist: working out might be the very thing that helps with all of those annoying symptoms (and more). Now, hear me out, I’m not saying you need to be at the gym at 4 a.m. for hours on end or become a bodybuilder. We’re busy, working moms, so the key is to keep it simple. That’s always been my motto—and it’s about time we all embraced it! Here are 2 tips for keeping working out simple so you can stay active and keep up with this chaotic life we lead:
Make Workouts Easy
Now like I said – keep it simple.
As a mom with a packed schedule, going to the gym often felt like one more thing on my to-do list—just another thing to squeeze in. That’s actually why I stopped going to the gym altogether.
Instead, I set a simple goal: work out for 15-20 minutes at least 4-5 days a week. I decided to bring the workout to me, so I invested in equipment that didn’t take up much space at home. And no, I didn’t build a full-on gym in my house—I don’t have the space or budget for that! I went on Amazon and picked up some simple items like resistance bands, weighted straps for my wrists and ankles, and a mini-stair stepper. All of this, plus my yoga mat, fits neatly in our storage ottoman.
Making my “gym” more accessible has made it so much easier to stick to my goal. Sometimes, I even work out in my pjs! It’s as simple as turning on a show and starting my workout in the living room. Before I know it, I’ve hit my 15-20 minutes. I also try to walk the dog regularly, and when the weather is nice, I ride my bike.
Working out doesn’t have to be a huge chore or a big trip to the gym. I just stop what I’m doing, get on the floor, and get it done. Simple, effective, and it fits right into my day!
Click on the pics above, or check out My Favorite Things to see the workout gear I love using at home!
Make Working out FUN
As I mentioned earlier, one of my favorite ways to get exercise is by riding my bike. A few months ago, Logan learned to ride without training wheels, and I was so excited! Now we have a fun and active activity we can enjoy as a family. On nice days, we love to ride our bikes together. It’s a great way to get outside, enjoy the fresh air, and stay active. We also have a basketball goal in our driveway. Both of my boys play basketball, so anytime the weather is decent I like to get out there and shoot hoops with them to help them practice. When the weather is cold, rainy, or just plain yucky, I turn to something a little cozier: a kid-friendly workout video on YouTube. Logan loves to workout with me, and it’s always a blast! Not only is it fun, but it’s quality time spent together while moving our bodies. Whether we’re biking, playing a sport, or working out inside, we’re getting that active family time in—and it feels great!
“Balance is not something you find, it’s something you create.” — Jana Kingsford
Healthcare Worker Moms: How to Make PRN Work For YOU and Your Family
Being a working mother is full of challenges. I maintained a full-time job working 40 hours a week when Blake was younger, and it wasn’t until Logan was about 6 months old that I made a change. The change was out of necessity, but turned out to be a blessing. Logan was born in April 2020 – a covid baby. I returned to work after maternity leave, and Logan started daycare. Matt and I were both considered “essential workers” and we figured out that didn’t jive very well with a baby in daycare that closed every other week due to covid cases. Also, Blake was at home doing remote learning since school was not back in person yet. This was around the time Matt was starting his pressure washing business, which kinda took off since people were stuck at home bored and decided to fix up their house! We had a long talk and look at our budget, looked at cost-cutting ideas, and made the decision for me to go from full time to PRN. If you’re not familiar, PRN basically means that I work “as needed,” like a flexible part time. I pick my hours, sometimes I work 4, 8, 12 at a time. Sometimes I work during the day, evening, or night. I work as much as I want/can or as little as I want (as long as I maintain the minimum requirement which is minimal). The downside to being PRN is you lose all benefits – no paid time off, no health insurance, etc. You only get paid when you work. At the time, I had health insurance on myself and the boys through through my job, so we had to get private health insurance. It was a little costly, but overall doable and we made it work.
Now 4 1/2 years later, I’ve found so many benefits to being PRN. The world is somewhat back to normal, and I could go back full time but the benefits of being PRN far outweigh full time for the time being. PROS: I make MORE money than I did working full time – working less, I never have to miss my kids’ activities, I don’t have to worry about vacation time getting approved/denied, and I don’t have to work the big important holidays (I do have a holiday requirement but I usually take care of that by working 4th of July or New Years or something like that – I haven’t worked Christmas or Thanksgiving in over 5 years). CONS: No paid time off – I only get paid for what I physically work, no health insurance, no guaranteed hours.
How I Make the Cons of PRN Work for Me
While being PRN has its benefits, it also comes with a few challenges. But I’ve found ways to make the cons work for me and my family. Here’s how I manage:
No PTO? Save Up My Own “PTO”
One of the biggest cons of PRN work is no paid time off. But I’ve found a way to handle it: I keep a small savings account specifically for unexpected time off. It’s not a huge amount, but it gives me peace of mind knowing I have a cushion if I need to take a day off.
I transfer $25 per paycheck into this account. I rarely call out, so I don’t dip into it often. However, if we have a vacation planned, I’ll work a little extra leading up to the trip. I also have a goal for how many hours I need to work in each pay period to meet our budget. Typically, that’s about 24 hours every two weeks.
If we plan a trip, I’ll either cram those 24 hours into one week or work a little extra each week leading up to it. And I like to think of the money I make as “fun money.” I’ll do some “nurse math” when planning trips—like, one extra 12-hour shift equals two nights at a hotel. Or 36 hours can cover the cost of a cruise. It helps me stay motivated and makes budgeting for family adventures easier!
No Health Insurance? Add It to My “Nurse Math”
Health insurance is another challenge with PRN work. Many nurses stay full-time just for the benefits. But when I had Logan, I realized that hospital-based insurance wasn’t all it’s cracked up to be. After a lot of number crunching, we found that staying PRN with private insurance actually works out better for us financially.
Here’s the thing: adding the cost of health insurance into your “nurse math” makes a big difference. You also have to factor in the money you save by not using daycare anymore. When you compare the costs of health insurance versus what you’re saving in daycare and other expenses, it often balances out. If your partner has a job that offers insurance, check that out too—it might be worth it, even if it costs a little more than the insurance through the hospital. At the end of the day, it’s all about balancing costs and benefits.
No Guaranteed Hours? I Plan for Flexibility
At the beginning of each 6-week period, my manager sends out the “Needs List” with available shifts for PRN staff. There’s usually no shortage of hours to pick up, so I don’t worry too much about meeting my minimum. But as a seasoned PRN nurse, I’ve learned to plan my hours a little differently.
I don’t pick up all my hours at once anymore. With kids, things come up—sick days, unexpected schedule changes, and Matt’s growing business are all factors that can mess with my plans. So now, I pick up my hours week by week. It sounds a little scary, especially for someone like me who loves to plan, but I’ve learned that it’s actually pretty easy to get the hours I need.
I have a list of coworkers who are often willing to give up shifts. And if no needs are listed on the schedule, I start texting my coworkers to see if they want time off. We also have a Facebook group where I can post my availability for the week. It’s been rare for me not to get as many hours as I want.
Staying on Top of Education
One thing I’ve had trouble with as a PRN worker is staying on top of my continuing education requirements required by the health system. We’re allowed 3 hours per pay period to do education at home, and we get paid for it. I’m chronically behind on my education, so I take advantage of this policy and try to get some education hours in toward the end of the pay period if I’m needing a few extra hours to meet my budget goals.
Final Thoughts
While being PRN comes with its own set of challenges—like no PTO, no guaranteed hours, and managing health insurance—the flexibility it offers is invaluable. By planning ahead, staying organized, and doing a little “nurse math,” I’ve been able to make the most of my PRN schedule and find a balance that works for my family.
PRN isn’t for everyone, but for me, it’s been a way to maintain a fulfilling career while having the flexibility to be there for my family when they need me most. It’s all about finding what works for you, your budget, and your lifestyle.
Scrubs and Motherhood 