mindfulness | Scrubs and Motherhood

20+ Years of Anxiety… and What Finally Helped Me Feel, Not Just Like Me Again – an Even Better Version of Me

For over half my life, I’ve lived with extreme anxiety. The kind that doesn’t just make you worry—it hijacks your day, your sleep, your relationships, and your peace. In my early 20s, I had panic attacks so intense I would nearly pass out. I eventually started seeing a psychiatrist, going to therapy, and that’s when I had a big realization:

I had lived through a traumatic childhood. And while I had brushed it off for years, my body and mind were carrying all of it. That trauma had manifested as anxiety, depression, PTSD, and OCD.

Since then, it’s been a journey—on and off meds, in and out of therapy, some seasons better than others. My anxiety especially flared up during and after both of my pregnancies and having my youngest during Covid just amplified everything.

But here’s the thing…

I’ve never wanted these challenges to define me. I want to break the cycle. I want to be the best mom I can be to my boys. And most of all—I want to show up for my life fully.

Now, over 20 years after being diagnosed, I can honestly say: I feel better than I’ve felt in decades. That constant, fluttery anxiety in my chest? It’s no longer a daily part of my life.

Yes—medications helped me and, as a nurse, I still believe in them wholeheartedly. But I’ve also found other tools that have helped me decrease my dependency and truly manage my mental health in a way that feels empowering.

I was previously on 150mg of Zoloft daily with Hydroxyzine and Propranolol for acute anxiety as needed. Currently, I’m down to 50mg of Zoloft daily and have not used the other two in MONTHS.

I’m going to share what I do now to manage my anxiety—from daily habits and supplements to mindset shifts and practical tools that work with my busy life (and not against it).

If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or like you’re just surviving—know that you’re not alone, and you can feel better. Below are 5 things I’ve done in the last 3 months to improve my mental health. And in the last 3 months I have DECREASED my chemical dependency on meds. I went from 150mg of Zoloft daily down to 50mg daily. I have not taken my other anxiety meds in over 3 months. And I feel BETTER that I have felt since my diagnosis over 20 years ago!