I know I have been a little quiet, a little absent recently, but I’m trying to get back into doing what I truly enjoy – oversharing 🙂
The last few months have been challenging, but I’ve managed to survive and now thriving and feeling confident and successful.
Back in October, Matt was laid off from his full time job, so in November I went back to working full time (so I can cover the insurance) after being PRN for the last 5 years. It’s actually been a blessing in disguise. Matt is able to focus on his business now, and I’m enjoying having a more consistent schedule rather than working crazy hours, different hours, jacking up my sleep schedule. I work 3a-3p three days a week, which sounds nuts to some people but I LOVE it! Yes i wake up early and I go to bed early, but on my days off my body is in that routine and I find I’m so much more productive when I’m up early. I see the kids more on this schedule, and my sleep is so much better.
Of course, in true Murphy’s Law – as soon as my new insurance started the kids decided to EACH have health emergencies. Couldn’t do it a month before when we were on the amazing insurance through Matt’s work where everything was covered 100%. Nooooo… that would’ve made life too easy. Logan had a random severe asthma attack that involved a call to 911 and a long stay in the ER to get under control. Then Blake had an emergency surgery that has taken him out of sports for 3 months. Then of course the holidays, Blake’s 13th birthday, my birthday, and now the new year!
I feel like we are finally recovering from the chaos, and I’m feeling good and have energy to get back into doing the things I love again. Like helping others, sharing things I’m passionate about, and just enjoying life again.
The last couple years we have taken a cruise for Spring Break. This year we decided to do something a little different.
Matt’s uncle has a boat in St Petersburg, Florida that he lives on for about half the year. He’s retired, has a house here in NC, but hates the cold weather in the wintertime. So, he lives on his boat in FL during those cold months. Some of the family have taken turns going down to visit and stay on his boat – so we finally took our turn. And what an adventure it was! The kids had SO much fun, they said it was one of their favorite vacations and keep asking if we can go back.
Living on a boat was an adventure in itself. He doesn’t take the boat out, it stays parked at the marina in a slip. Below there are 3 bedrooms – Uncle Jeff has his own bedroom area, then we had two bedrooms and two bathrooms just for us. There was a living room, full kitchen, and my favorite spot was going up top to lounge and admire the views!
We were walking distance to SO MANY things. The St. Pete Pier was about a 10 minute walk away. Blake and I enjoyed walking there and getting ice cream (for him) and coffee (for me) at the end of the pier. There is a massive playground there as well. Also, a small beach area that the kids loved! Near the beach area was a pizza place, drink stand, and splash pad. So so much to do.
There was also a soccer stadium close to the marina, and Uncle Jeff got free tickets to a game. He took the kids one night and Matt and I were able to get out for a date night early on in the trip which was amazing! He spoiled the kids with hot dogs, popcorn, and ice cream – they had a blast!
We drove about an hour south to North Jetty Beach one afternoon. Gorgeous beach, beautiful blue water, and we found a bunch of shark teeth! We went for the shark teeth hunt, but the kids ended up wanting to play in the water the whole time so Matt and I were hunting the shark teeth.
On another day we drove out to Clearwater Beach. They were having their sandcastle festival – the theme was dinosaurs. It was so impressive! We really enjoyed that. While out at Clearwater, I found a groupon for a Dolphin tour so we went on that as well. We saw dolphins within 2 minutes of leaving the harbor – amazing! Clearwater was pretty busy and little overwhelming otherwise, so we didn’t spend any extra time there.
One evening toward the end of our trip, Uncle Jeff offered to hang out with the boys again so Matt and I could have one more date night. We walked to a restaurant right at the entrance to the pier, Fresco’s. We had been wanting to try it all week. We got a perfect seat outside right on the water. The food was delicious. Uncle Jeff took the boys for ice cream (those boys were spoiled by almost daily ice cream cones lol).
We flew Allegiant both ways. They do non-stop flights out of our nearby airport into St. Petersburg in the Spring. It was very affordable, although it is a budget airline with no frills, it’s still a great option when traveling with kids. A few tips when flying with Allegiant – there is no wifi onboard, so make sure to download shows/movies to tablets prior to leaving. Beverages/snacks are for purchase only so if you don’t want to spend the money, bring something onboard. The only free piece of luggage is the personal item that fits under your seat. There is a fee for a carry on that goes in the overhead bin, and of course checking a bag. It is MUCH cheaper to check than to carry on AND to pay in advance rather than at the airport. We checked 2 bags and each person had a backpack to fit under the seat. Otherwise, flying with Allegiant was a great experience for the great deal we got – just come prepared!
All in all, the kids were right – it was one of our best family vacations!
Traveling with my kids is something I love to do. I didn’t get to travel as a kid, so not only am I enjoying the experiences myself but I love watching my kids experience new things and make memories. We are not “rich” by any means, I’ve just learned some tricks and hacks along the way for making travel more affordable (especially cruises). If you’d like to see some of my travel hacks, tips, especially for traveling with kids – drop a comment for what you’d like to see and I can do a separate post!
I’m going to back up just a bit to the Spring of 1990, when my mother and stepfather met. They met in AA, both recovering alcoholics. At the time, my mother was 33 and my stepfather was 25. My mother was pregnant with my middle brother at the time, and they married very quickly – while she was still pregnant. (My brother’s father was not around, not sure of the full story there.) My brother was born in July, and she put my stepfather’s name on the birth certificate and allowed my brother to believe that was truly his biological father until he was in his 20s. (More details on that in a future episode). In Spring 1992, they had my youngest brother. So, although there is about a 6–8-year age gap between me and my brothers, they are very close in age.
I met my middle brother for the first time at Christmas 1990. My mother made a trip to NC to visit, along with my stepfather and new little brother. He was about 5 months old at the time, and I was obsessed with him! I was 6 years old, about to turn 7. My friends had baby siblings, and now I have a baby brother!
So, it was after my youngest brother was born in the Spring of 1992 that my mother and Peepaw had the discussion regarding me moving to Texas. I had met one brother and already fallen in love, and now I had a second brother that I had yet to meet. It sounded so exciting! For Christmas 1992, instead of my mother coming to NC, my grandparents and I flew to Texas. It was an opportunity for me to see where I would be living. My mother, stepfather, and brothers lived in a single wide trailer in a trailer park. I thought that was kinda cool at the time. I saw lots of kids around so I saw a potential to make new friends. My brothers shared a room with a bunk bed, and the plan would be for me to also share that room and for them to share a bottom bunk and I would sleep on the top bunk. We drove to the elementary school where I would go, explored the area, and in my little 8-going on 9 year old brain I was excited! My grandparents and I flew back to NC, I finished out the school year.
On that day in July, I got on a plane and moved halfway across the country to what I thought would be a “normal” life, getting to live with my mother and brothers. However, at age 9, I was naive and unaware or oblivious to how great my life was with my grandparents. I knew they were loving “parents” to me of course, but I assumed I was just moving into another happy loving family that was more conventional with my mother and siblings. My mother met me at the gate at the DFW airport when I arrived (remember, this was pre-9/11 when you could do that, but I was also an unaccompanied minor.) There was no hug, no “I’m so happy you’re here,” my arrival was treated like just any ole other day. And so did my existence for the next several years.
Christmas 1990 when I first met my middle brotherChristmas 1992 when I met my youngest brother
This post is going to be a little different, a little more personal. It’s a long one, so it will be divided into multiple parts. This is part 1. I don’t talk about this to get pitty, or a pat on the back, or anything like that. I share this in hopes of helping others that struggle with past trauma, cutting off toxic family, or if you know me, maybe it helps you understand where I came from.
This is a topic I said I would never talk much about while my Peepaw was alive. I did not want to give him any reason to feel guilty, or feel bad, or tarnish the way he thought of his daughter (my biological mother). Once he made it to a certain age, I felt he deserved to enjoy the last years of his life. I grew up, survived trauma, and bettered myself. My trauma did not define me, it’s just a story of my past. It was pointless for him to know the trauma I endured at the hand of his own daughter. What good would it do him, or me, or anyone?
But now I feel free to speak my truth.
My biological mother is a narcissist with likely a whole array of undiagnosed mental health issues. I think she was missing the “mom gene.” She birthed 3 children, but I don’t think she ever wanted to be a mother. She was 27 when she had me, a fugitive of the law at the time, gave birth to me in Florida with an alias on my birth certificate. When I was 3 weeks old, she took me to North Carolina and along with my biological father, signed over parental rights to my grandparents (her parents) – my Meemaw and Peepaw. She then went back to Texas, turned herself in, and served 4 years in prison. My Meemaw took SO many pictures (I guess that’s where I get it from), but remember back then you had to actually get it developed! There is picture album after picture album of my every move when I was little. It was clear they loved me, cared for me, and I felt it too. I always felt at home with them, it was safe, stable, and they were loving parents to me. My Peepaw played catch with me in the yard, never missed a t-ball or softball game. They never missed a dance recital. Peepaw retired when I was in Kindergarten and Meemaw was a homemaker. I had several friends that lived on our street, and my house became the “hang out” sometimes after school. They were “Meemaw and Peepaw” to all of my friends, too. One year, my friends and I decided to put on a dance recital for the whole neighborhood – Peepaw had flyers made and sent them out to all the neighbors. My childhood with them was nothing short of unconditional love and support.
When my mother got out of prison, she stayed in Texas but would come to NC once a year and visit. She was basically like a stranger to me. I was always uncomfortable around her. Remember, this was the late 80s/early 90s when keeping in touch long distance was more difficult. She called occasionally, but I don’t remember any meaningful conversations. There were no “I love yous” exchanged between us EVER in my entire life to this day. When I was 9 ½, she had married my stepdad and had my two brothers. She convinced my grandparents she had her life together and requested for me to go to TX to live with them. I remember Peepaw presenting the idea to me. I still remember the conversation to this day. It was in the car after leaving a friend’s birthday party. I was 8 years old. I knew of my brothers at this point, had met one of them on my mother’s last visit to NC. Had never met the youngest one (they were babies at this point). I was at the start of 3rd grade. My closest friends had siblings, lived with their mom and dad. I was an only child living with my grandparents. I had a great life, but at 8 years old I had a desire to have siblings and feel “normal” living with my mother. Even though she was nearly a stranger to me. I was also young, and did not know her entire story and why she had been absent at the time. So my little 8 year old brain just heard “brothers, living with my mom like a normal kid, yay!”
So, on July 9th, 1993, after finishing the school year at age 9 I got on a plane, my first flight as an unaccompanied minor, and I moved to Texas. And that began 9+ years of pure hell.
This is something I have wanted to do for awhile and felt like I couldn’t find the time. I finally MADE the time. When you become a mother, sometimes you lose yourself in motherhood, buried in the diapers, exhaustion, laundry, busy schedules, you forget who you were before you became a mother. If you ask a mother what her hobbies are, she’s likely to stand there racking her brain to come up with an answer other than sleep, shower, hot food, pee alone.
Writing was a hobby of mine many years ago. I always said I wanted to write a book. When I was in my early 20s living in Texas, when I thought nursing was not an attainable degree at the time, I studied journalism at community college. I even worked on the school newspaper writing movie reviews. I really enjoyed it. I love to talk, I love to tell stories, but I’m much better at sitting down putting my words on paper (or in text/typing) than I am actually speaking.
So, I guess this blog is my way of getting back into writing. I have a lot of interesting stories from my past that I don’t mind sharing, especially if it might help someone. I also have plenty of funny stories thanks to my silly boys and never-boring-job in the ER. I love to help people, which is probably why I became a nurse. I love to share anything that could help others.
I hope you’ll find something helpful, interesting, and/or entertaining from my blog! 🙂
Scrubs and Motherhood 